What Is A Red Flag Or Green Flag
Red flags in a relationship means something is off, and a green flag means you can go ahead as it is safe. To understand a red or green flag, we can compare it to a traffic signal. Red means stop, or danger. Whereas, green indicates safe to go.
In simpler terms, Red flags are like warnings you should look out for, and green flags indicate positive things in a person.
It is essential to understand that certain traits can’t be generalised. Some things may be acceptable to some, but may not be to others.
Also read: How To Move On From A Relationship & Benefits Of Getting Married
Why Is It Important To Look For Red Or Green Flag In A Relationship?
If one gets into a relationship, it is important that both the partners are compatible.
When someone is compatible, they are more likely to have a long-lasting relationship.
Hence, looking at red flags and green flags are important. It tells us about a person. Additionally, it helps us to understand if we can see ourselves with a partner in the long term.
Red Flags In A Relationship
Looking at red or green flags in a person is subjective and depends on person to person. For example – For someone who is vegan, a non-vegetarian person is a red flag. However, it can’t be generalised for everyone.
There are certain factors that can indicate that someone is not a compatible partner.Red flags in a relationship need to be avoided. This can help your relationship last longer.
Hence, here are some biggest red flags in a guy and girl:
Red Flags In Women & Red Flags In Guy
Usually red and green flags are not different in men or women. Since, these are something that can be present in anyone irrespective of gender. However, we can look out for these important red flags in a relationship:
- Doesn’t Respect You
If your partner does not respect you, it is the biggest red flag in a guy as well as a girl. In a relationship, respect goes both ways. Occasionally joking in a harmless manner is fine. However, if they disrespect you that’s a major red flag!
- Controls You
In a relationship, it is essential to have your own individuality. Hence, no one should control your decisions.
Your partner, friends and family can guide you, and give suggestions. Nevertheless, no one has the right to force you into a decision.
- Does Not Ask For Consent
Be it a man or a woman, consent is important for all. It’s important to ensure that your partner is comfortable. This is a major red flag in a guy because most women do understand the importance of consent. However, it is important for both genders to ask the consent of each other.
- Doesn’t Respect Your Family
No one has the right to disrespect your family no matter what. Hence, a partner that does not respect your family is a major red flag.
- Backstabbing
A good partner would always have your back even when you are not around. Hence, someone who talks badly about you behind your back is not trustworthy.
Stay away from such people as they don’t genuinely care about you. Oftentimes, people like to talk negatively about their partners in order to look cool.
However, this means that they do not respect you. Hence, you should avoid such people.
- Arrogance
A person that’s arrogant will keep your needs above him. Someone who truly loves you, will keep all their ego and arrogance aside to listen to you and your needs, and will always respect you.
- Doesn’t Respect Your Boundaries
Everyone has certain boundaries. Hence, if you have clearly communicated your boundaries people must respect it.
Boundaries are important to avoid any triggers, or sensitive topics. Hence, it’s essential that people respect each other’s boundaries.
When someone respects your boundaries, it shows compassion, and sensitivity towards you. Hence, keep these kinds of people close to you.
- Abuse
Any abuse be it physical, verbal or emotional is a red flag. A person who genuinely cares for you will never do anything to put you in distress.
- Possessive
The feeling of jealousy is normal. However, when someone starts to get possessive and act as if they own you, it shows lack of trust.
In any relationship, trust is a major factor. Hence, if someone is overly possessive it shows that they look at you as something they own and not as a person.
- Love Bombing
Love bombing is a part of emotional abuse. It is when someone barely knows you but starts to do anything and everything for you.
This may seem like they care for you, and are putting in efforts. However, this is a way of manipulating you.
They make people believe that they are in love with them in the very beginning of the relationship which makes a person trust them. However, once they achieve their trust, they start playing with their partner’s emotions.
Red flags in a relationship show how compatible you and your partner are, it is important to identify them in order to avoid them.
Read more: What is love Bombing?
Red Flags In Guys
Red flags in a relationship can be found in men as well as women. As mentioned earlier, nothing can be generalised. But, these are some traits more common in men.
- Does not want women to work
A man who forces his partner to stay at home because of gender roles is a red flag. It shows toxic masculinity, and insecurity. Hence, if someone forces you to quit your job, it’s important to stand your ground.
The reason that so many men don’t want their partners to work is because of the patriarchal mindset embedded in them for years. Such as “A woman belongs in the kitchen”, “Working and earning is a man’s job” are just patriarchal thoughts.
- Doesn’t Respect Women
Someone who doesn’t respect any gender be it male or female shows lack of compassion. Demeaning any gender is not a good trait. This is more common in men because men see themselves as Alphas and wish to dominate.
Note: This is not to generalise that all men think the same. However, several men still think like this to date.
- Violence
Over the years, we have heard of several cases of abusive men hitting their partners. Hence, a man being violent and physically abusive to another person, is one of the biggest red flags in a guy.
This shows lack of respect towards their partner. This is why, if someone is violent towards you, you must ensure to keep your distance from them.
Green Flags In Guys
No one is perfect, everyone has their own good and bad traits. Hence, let’s look at some green in a guy.
- Stands Up For You
When a guy stands up for you, it shows that he is considerate. This is because they do not want people thinking or saying bad things about you.
Generally, people do not like to cause any conflict. Hence, if someone takes a stand for you it shows how much they care about you.
- Supports You
A partner who supports you in difficult times, is someone you need to keep close. It shows that they care about your growth which is a good trait in a person.
- Remembers Small Details
When a guy remembers small details about you it shows that he genuinely cares about you. Furthermore, it indicates that he listens to you when you talk about something which is important.
When someone remembers details about you it makes you feel special, hence this is one of the biggest green flags in a guy.
Remember: This blog does not mean to generalise between men or women, these are a few traits.
Red Flags In Women
- Not Loyal
Cheating on someone can be wrecking, especially emotionally. When someone is cheated on, they feel hurt, because someone they loved betrayed them .
Cheating is a huge red flag in women as well as men. Anyone who cheats, destroys another person’s trust and hope.
- Victim Card
When someone is at fault, but they desperately want to get their name cleared by lying and manipulating facts, it is known as playing a victim card. No one wants to be disliked, and hence people play the victim card.
Such as falsely accusing people of things they have not done, or crying to gain sympathy.
- Illogical
Not all, but most women are prone to thinking emotionally rather than rationally. Hence, they sometimes can be impulsive in certain situations.
This statement doesn’t mean that women can’t be trusted, instead, it means that some people think rationally while others think emotionally.
- Lack Of Communication
Often men say “it’s hard to understand women”. This is because some women do not clearly communicate their needs and wants. For example – “I’ll leave him on read so he will understand that I am upset” or “ “I said I was fine, doesn’t mean that I am”
These are some of the red flags in women that men often share.
Green Flags In Women
- Supports You
A woman who supports her partner even when he is struggling says a lot about her. It shows that she doesn’t love him for materialistic things. Rather, she genuinely loves the person for his personality.
- Nurturing & Trust
When a woman loves you, her love has no boundary or limit. It shows that she genuinely cares about you. She ensures that your every need and want is fulfilled.
Women tend to be more loving, giving and caring. For example – A mother’s love is selfless. Similarly, when a woman loves & trusts you truly she will ensure that you are always happy.
- Doesn’t care about finance and social status
When a woman supports and loves you despite how much money you have in your bank account, it is the biggest green flag.
It shows that she doesn’t love you for your money but for the person you are, and will always be with you no matter how hard things get.
Reminder
Green and red flags are subjective. While some things may be a red flag for a certain person, it isn’t necessary everyone sees that as a red flag. However, there are some things that need to be generic such as cheating, love-bombing, etc.
